Don’t Hate The Player…

A lot of people on my facebook friends’ list know that I happen to be a brain-injury survivor. Most of you however don’t. I was 17 when I was sucker-punched in the back of the head. I suffered a multiple concussion and a cerebral hemorrhage. Basically, the complete circumference of my brain is dead cells, and the part of my brain that was bled into is also dead. (Make your jokes now, I have heard all of em….) Point is, I have never used it as a crutch, or an excuse or anything like that. Look at what I have been able to do in all the years since that happened…

I’ve started up four companies that have succeeded where I had wanted them to, for as long as I have wanted to. I’ve fallen in and out of love. I’ve gotten jobs I have wanted, I have “dated” women I have set my eyes upon. I have fathered a male child. I have made friendships with some pretty interesting people. I have turned a hobby of mine into a hobby that others can indulge in. For someone who is supposed to have been dead for decades, I think I’ve done pretty well.

I miss contact sports though. I likely was very far from the best hockey player to ever play the game, but I loved playing it. One of the first things the doctor told me after I recovered: I had to give up all contact sports. For someone who was as athletic as I was growing up, that sucked. I was always playing different sports, I was ok in some and crappy in others, just like anyone else, but I had fun. I made do though, playing non-contact hockey, learning to play raquetball, and developing a pretty wicked fastball by playing catch with a highschool buddy. Fun times.

A lot of people have been caught off guard when they find out out I hold no real hatred or animosity towards the guy who put me in the hospital and forever altered my life. All I can ask is why? Hating him won’t change shit, I am still alive, life goes on. Hatred is so self-limiting and one of the most useless and destructive emotions you could ever experience. Think about it: If you hate someone enough to avoid a party or get-together or it keeps you from going to a restaurant or basically ANY place, who are you punishing, exactly? The person you have a hate-on for? I guaran-damn-tee you that he/she couldn’t give two shits about you. The only one who suffers is yourself. Your hatred has stopped you from going to that party, eating at a favorite restaurant, etc., etc. You are being a victim when you do this. If you don’t deserve it, stop doing it! Simple. Stop holding onto feelings for someone that won’t and doesn’t care.

That all being said, I recently found out – in synopsis-form – what became of the guy who suckered me in the back of the head, and I will admit, it caused me to grin for about 5 seconds. Turns out this guy has been in and out of jails and prisons in the years since I last saw him. He has fathered a few children that he isn’t allowed access to, and has worse than a dead-end job (hard to get hired for a decent job at a decent wage with a criminal record – sad but true). Meanwhile, I have entered the 2nd year of a venture that is slowly becoming more successful, I have a beautiful son I not only love to death, I get that love back tenfold, unconditionally. I have people I like hanging around with, and most of them think I’m pretty ok.

So, welcome to my blog. This first one was meant to just give you a little insight into me and where I am in my head at this point of my life. Follow and read if you wish, and let me know what you think of my meanderings, I would like to know. until next blog…